Summary of “Hell Yeah or No”

About this book - Sivers explains that after selling his company, he had to make a change in his life and spent years writing in his journal about what's worth doing, fixing faulty thinking, and making things happen. These reflections became the chapters of this book.

"I write succinctly because I'm only introducing ideas. You can apply them to your life better than I can."

Updating Identity

1. What if you didn't need money or attention? - Encourages readers to consider what they would do if money and attention were no longer motivators, revealing what truly matters to them.
2. You don't have to be local - Discusses the trade-off between focusing locally or globally, noting that neither approach is right or wrong.
3. Actions, not words, reveal our real values - Our true priorities are shown by what we do, not what we say we want to do.
   1. "No matter what you tell the world or tell yourself, your actions reveal your real values."
4. Keep earning your title, or it expires - Professional titles should reflect current activity, not past accomplishments.
5. Why are you doing? - Examines the importance of understanding your true motivations behind your actions.
6. Some will always say you're wrong - No matter what you choose to do, someone will criticize you; understanding this helps you stay true to your own values.
7. Imitate. We are imperfect mirrors. - Copying others' work will naturally become something different through your own perspective.
8. Loving what I used to hate - Our preferences and opinions can completely reverse over time, so we shouldn't let initial judgments define us forever.
9. The public you is not you - The version of you that exists in other people's minds is not the real you, so don't take criticism or praise too personally.
10. Character predicts your future - Your patterns of behavior are strong indicators of your future success.
    1. "How you do anything is how you do everything. It all matters."
11. Fish don't know they're in water - We're often unaware of the cultural assumptions that shape our thinking until we step outside of them.
12. Are you present-focused or future-focused? - Explores how people differ in their time orientation and how this affects their decisions and happiness.
13. Small actions change your self-identity - Taking even one small action in a new direction can begin to shift how you see yourself.

Saying No

1. If you're not feeling "hell yeah!" then say no - Only commit to things you're genuinely excited about; saying no to the mediocre creates space for the truly excellent.
2. Saying no to everything else - Choose one important goal and say no to absolutely everything else until it's accomplished.
3. Art is useless, and so am I - The value of art and pursuits that serve no practical purpose other than personal fulfillment.
4. I'm a very slow thinker - Embracing the benefit of taking time to think deeply before responding.
   1. "Your first reaction is usually outdated. Either it's an answer you came up with long ago and now use instead of thinking, or it's a knee-jerk emotional response to something in your past."
5. Tilting my mirror (motivation is delicate) - Small environmental adjustments can protect your motivation when it's vulnerable.
6. Quitting something you love - Sometimes we need to quit even positive things to create space for growth and change.
7. How will this game end? - Before starting something, consider all possible outcomes to avoid getting trapped in unfavorable situations.
8. Solitary socialite - Reflects on the modern paradox of being physically alone but socially connected through digital communication.
9. Getting out of a bad state of mind - Practical steps for escaping negative thought patterns and regaining perspective.

Making Things Happen

1. There's no speed limit - How one teacher showed Sivers that standard pace is arbitrary and with the right approach, you can accomplish much more, much faster.
2. Relax for the same result - Sometimes reducing effort by half only reduces results by a tiny percentage, making relaxation the wiser approach.
3. Disconnect - The creative power of disconnecting from technology and constant communication.
   1. "What's rare and valuable these days isn't hard work, but deep work. Focus. Disconnection."
4. Unlikely places and untangled goals - Separating your true goals from the mental associations that might be limiting how you achieve them.
5. When you're extremely unmotivated - Use periods of low motivation to tackle necessary but boring tasks you normally avoid.
6. Think like a bronze medalist, not silver - Finding happiness by comparing yourself to those with less rather than those with more.
7. Imagining lots of tedious steps? Or one fun step? - How our perception of a task's complexity reflects our enthusiasm for it.
8. Procrastination hack: change "and" to "or" - Change conditions that must ALL be met (using "and") to conditions where ANY can trigger action (using "or").
9. There are always more than two options - Breaking out of false dilemmas by generating multiple alternatives.
10. Beware of advice - Recognizing that advice often says more about the giver than about your situation.
11. Switch strategies - Different phases of life require different approaches: say yes to everything early on, focus intensely when you find your path, then learn to say no when overwhelmed.
12. Don't be a donkey - Avoid Buridan's donkey paradox (starving between hay and water) by thinking long-term; you can do many things sequentially rather than simultaneously.
    1. "Most people overestimate what they can do in one year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years."

Changing Perspective

1. I assume I'm below average - The surprising benefits of assuming you have more to learn than others.
2. Everything is my fault - Taking complete responsibility for everything in your life as a path to greater control and peace.
3. I love being wrong - Embracing being wrong as the only time you truly learn something new.
4. Singing the counter-melody - Offering perspectives that complement rather than repeat common wisdom.
5. What are the odds of that? - Reflections on coincidence, meaning, and the beauty of random events.
6. two three four ONE, two three four ONE - How different cultures can have completely opposite perspectives that are equally valid.
7. 232 sand dollars - A beautiful metaphor about finding joy in the discovery rather than the possession.
8. My favorite fable - The story of a farmer's equanimity in the face of seemingly good and bad events, teaching that outcomes can't be judged immediately.
   1. "We'll see."

What's Worth Doing

1. Obvious to you. Amazing to others. - What seems obvious to you may be valuable to others; don't discount your ideas just because they seem simple to you.
2. Happy, Smart, and Useful - Finding fulfillment at the intersection of what makes you happy, what's smart for your future, and what's useful to others.
3. How to do what you love and make good money - The balanced approach of having a well-paying job while pursuing your art seriously for love, not money.
4. What do you hate not doing? - Identifying what truly matters by noticing what makes you feel bad when you don't do it enough.
5. You don't need confidence, just contribution. - Focus on making your work unique and useful rather than seeking confidence or certainty.
6. Let pedestrians define the walkways - Make decisions as late as possible, when you have the most information, rather than planning everything in advance.
7. Don't start a business until people are asking you to - Prioritize finding real problems and customers before launching a formal business.
8. Parenting: Who is it really for? - How the practices we adopt to benefit our children often benefit ourselves just as much.
9. OK Milt, I'll start writing again - A poignant reminder of mortality and the importance of creating lasting work.
   1. "I love how the distributed word is eternal—that every day I get emails from strangers thanking me for things I wrote years ago that helped them today."

Fixing Faulty Thinking

1. Unlearning - The importance of deliberately questioning and unlearning outdated knowledge.
2. Subtract - Life can be improved by removing things rather than always adding more.
3. Smart people don't think others are stupid - True intelligence involves thinking things through rather than dismissing others.
4. The mirror: It's about you, not them. - Focus on what you get from others' work rather than judging the creator.
5. Assume men and women are the same - Counteract the tendency to exaggerate differences between groups.
6. Moving for good - The value of living in different cultures to expand your thinking.
7. Learning the lesson, not the example. - Look past specific examples to apply broader lessons metaphorically to your own situation.
8. Overcompensate to compensate - Sometimes you need to go to an extreme to achieve balance against existing habits and tendencies.
9. Projecting meaning - We create meaning where there may be none, which can be both beautiful and problematic.

Saying Yes

1. After fifteen years of practice - The power of persistence and continuous practice in developing skills others assume are innate talents.
2. Goals shape the present, not the future. - The best goals immediately change how you act in the present.
   1. "Judge a goal by how well it changes your actions in the present moment."
3. Seeking inspiration? - True inspiration comes not from consuming content but from applying what you learn to your work.
4. Possible futures - Keeping a collection of potential life directions allows you to dream without commitment.
5. If you think you haven't found your passion... - Pay attention to what excites you on a small, moment-to-moment basis rather than waiting for an overwhelming passion.
6. Whatever scares you, go do it - Fear is a compass pointing to what will help you grow; following it reduces what you fear over time.
   1. "Fear is just a form of excitement, and you know you should do what excites you."​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​